Strength

Strength day! 
Warm Up:
40 Pull Ups - 17 unbroken (first 12 strict, then I started to kip)
60 Push Ups - 35 unbroken
Then:
Front Squat 4x4 @ 200#
Dip 4x4 @ 30#
Chins 4x4 @ 53# KB
Then:
60' run

My knee hurts every time I run.  Something is wrong with this.  I'm lifting more weight than ever before and running further, faster than ever so now the work is consistency.

It's taken me a long time to come from aquatics and balance out my strength on land.  My balance was off, my coordination, stability, and above all else, leg strength.  It's been 3 years to get here and yet I feel this huge weight that it's not good enough.  That I "should" be better and everything else is an excuse. 

I keep trying to remind myself to stay focused on the small goals.  Just add 2.5#, just a little further each time, that is measurable progress, everything else will follow.  One more day.  I think that by the end of this year I will have hit my macro goals which is exciting.  My wife tells me that I feel behind because every time I achieve a goal I cross it off and replace it with something else on the list so there is a never ending list in front of me with nothing crossed off...maybe that's why. 

I read a line in Assault on Lake Casitas and I keep thinking about it..."PROVE YOU'RE TOUGH."  Brad used the saying to motivate himself and now it's my turn.  Maybe everything has been my attempt to prove to myself that I am tough.  That I am capable and worthy.  Trying to find the center.

Then the watch beeps and I'm done running.  Walk for another 20 min to the gym and get some fluid in me.  I feel totally spent after 60' and it takes me 2-3 days to recover from it.  I miss the feeling sometimes, but most of all, I miss being one of the best at something.