Power-Endurance

I wasn't going to do anything today, but after watching the group do the beach workout I was inspired to give it a try.

I had to swallow some pride, take a risk and put my ego in check.  I'm embarrassed of my current state of fitness right now.  I had injured myself a couple times and because of it, my workouts have been off and on for the last 18 months or so.  When I don't workout, I start to get depressed and eat indiscriminately.  I get fat.

I even have to justify things on here, by including my story about being injured and getting over-fat.  

So here I am.  I'm about 2 months into consistant training at this point.  Still too heavy, still about 8-9 months away from being back to where I was pre-injuries and I decided to give it a go.

The workout was:
10 Burpees
4x 40-Yard Weighted Sprints (20/15kg)
1x 40-Yard Kettlebell Squat Toss (53/35kg)
10 Burpees
1x 40-Yard Kettlebell Squat Toss (53/35kg)
4x 40-Yard Weighted Sprints (20/15kg)
10 Burpees
For Time

I finished in 8:25.  I don't know what to think of it.  The weighted sprints killed me.  I have no legs.  I've known that for a long time though.  In swimming and water polo it's different.  Leg strength on the land doesn't translate that well to being able to tread for long periods of time, or maybe it was just the fact that my coaches never had us doing squats...either way, my legs have come from practially nothing to the state they are in now and it's taken 3 years to do it.  I still can't squat very much weight though, and the oxygen demand of running with weight in sand crushed me.  The squat toss I was able to put some good throws together.  Probably because I have pretty good power.  Apparently it's only linear though :)

The other guys in the group did the workout with a weighted vest on.  Chad and Hoby beat my time by over a full min.  Guys who didn't wear a vest, I did well against.  Against myself...I am disappointed.  But that doesn't mean much.  I'm always dissatisfied with my performance.  I have seen this pattern in a lot of different aspects of my life but it shows up nice and neat here for me to look at and pull apart.  To know myself a little better.  I constantly feel behind or inadequate.  My expectations of myself are far beyond reasonable.  I know this, and I try to correct it as often as I think of it, and here is another chance to work on it. 

I tell myself, "the time of this workout is not indicative of me.  It is not my identity.  I am more than a timed workout.  The performance does not indicate my value, my self worth or my ability to coach someone else."  I don't totally believe these things yet...but I'm getting there.